


Domestic Drarry - drabble collection

by synonym4life



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 01:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11197362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synonym4life/pseuds/synonym4life
Summary: Some drabbles and ficlets of Harry and Draco being silly. I guarantee a laugh or two and a healthy dose of sap :)





	1. The Insulting Mug

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a collection of drabbles and ficlets I posted to my account on Tumblr that I'm posting here to have them all in one place. They are all from the same established 'drarry universe' that lives in my head.

**The Insulting Mug**

 

“I bought you a mug,” says Draco upon entering the kitchen.

Potter’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “What does it do?”

“Nothing,” he replies, trying for nonchalance. “It’s just a mug Potter. Can’t I enrich this household with one bloody mug without you becoming all twitchy?’’

Potter’s eyebrows rise. ‘’What does it _do_ , Malfoy?’’

Draco sighs, defeated. ‘’It’s a personalised Insulting Mug.’’

A smirk slowly spreads across his face. ‘’As I’m simply too sleepy to insult you in the mornings, I just got something that would do it for me.’’

_*next morning*_

Harry is sitting across from Draco sipping tea from his new mug. It hasn’t insulted him yet. Maybe it’s not a morning person; like Malfoy, who looks as though he’s on the verge of death and the last saving breath is coming from the coffee cup he’s currently lifting slowly to his li –

‘’SCARHEAD!’’

Malfoy starts so violently almost all the hot contents of his cup spill on his work robes.

Harry decides the household truly has been enriched.


	2. Draco and the Offending Toaster

It was the first day in their new flat and Potter just went to work and  _left_ Draco there _all on his own._ He left him with all these strange muggle appliances and eklectical (or was it elektical?) things that Potter insisted on having. And Draco Malfoy was _hungry._ No, scratch that, Draco Malfoy was _starving_. He had been putting off eating, because… well, not because he _couldn’t_ make anything for himself, but because he hadn’t _dared._ Because stupid Potter still hadn’t shown him how in the hell these…these elektical things _worked._

Oh, Potter had explained, but words, Draco realized, didn’t help much when one was actually confronted with one of these contraptions.

 _But Draco Malfoy was starving._ And that was simply not how life was supposed to be. So, Draco decided, he will make himself something to eat even if he ended up burning the whole building down to the ground.

He was staring at the kitchen counter indecisively. Which contraption to opt for so that the chance of accidental fire was the lowest?

 _Toast._ He could make himself toast. Toast was easy wasn’t it? All he needed to do was toast some bread and put jam on it. He only needed to use two appliances for this. The fridge to take the jam out – that was easy, he only had to open it – and…the toaster. Oh dear, _he had to use the toaster._ Ok, but toaster had the least amount of buttons. So, that was definitely the safest option, right?

He took the bread from the bread compartment _orwhateverthatiscalled,_ checked if the toaster was plugged into the wall (just like Harry told him it was supposed to be) and put the bread into the two slits. Up till now things were going splendidly. Since the toaster (blessedly) only had one lever, he pulled that one down and the slices of bread descended into the heart of the machine.

Now he just had to wait.

Wait… but, how was he to know how _long_ he had to wait. And more importantly _how was he supposed to get the bread slices out._

_And how would he know when they’re even done toasting?!_

Draco quickly bent his head over the toaster looking into the two slits. He saw that, at the side, some metal parts of the machine were glowing bright red. _Really_ bright red. His chances of unintended arson had just escalated.  

The bread, however, was starting to smell quite nice. Just like toasted bread was supposed to smell. Warm and crispy and like home. He supposed the bread was nearly done. But how will he get it _out?_

He bent his head closer to the two slits to better see the mechanics of the machine when, all of a sudden, he heard the softest of clicks and without warning the _stupid machine_ ejected the bread slices _right into his fucking face._

Draco let out an undignified yelp and jumped away from the offending machine. Oh, Potter will fucking pa – The sound of muffled laughter made him spin around and he saw Potter standing by the kitchen door doubled in half, biting his hand while trying to muffle his laughter and failing spectacularly.

‘’Oh, it’s funny, is it? This, fucking stupid idiot _thing_ fucking threw _my_ food in _my_ face!’’ He spluttered. ‘’I have never seen an appliance as disgustingly _rude_ as this one.’’

Potter, in between bouts of laughter, gasped out, ‘’It’s…oh god. It’s muggle Draco.’’ He doubled over with laughter again, ‘’Merlin, that was so funny.’’ He took a gulp of breath trying to settle himself. ‘’It…it doesn’t work like wizarding objects do. You know, like the way magical mirrors can be rude… It just works by using the mechanisms that are built into it. No personality traits whatsoever. Just the way it’s designed to work.’’

Draco, his cheeks slightly pink from embarrassment (and shock if he were to admit it to himself), lifted his chin with the last shreds of dignity and defiantly said, ‘’Well I don’t know much about muggles, but they must be quite uncivilised to consciously design machines that **_throw_** your breakfast **_at_** you.’’

He glared defensively at Harry, who, despite trying to keep a straight face, was overcome by tremors that soon escalated to unapologetic laughter again.

Stupid Potter. Why did he have to love him so.


	3. Draco Malfoy and the Erratic Blender

**Draco Malfoy and the Erratic Blender**

 

After the incident with the toaster Draco was still wary of unknown kitchen appliances; wariness, however, hadn’t turned him away from learning and he had by now mastered most of the contraptions in their kitchen.

For one, he could now make the most perfect toasted bread. He also knew how to use the stove (easy enough as long as he thought about it in the line of: fire, cauldron, ingredient). He even perfected the use of the microwave. Well almost. He had not yet perfected his reaction to the obnoxiously loud _ping!_ that made him jump every single bloody time his back was turned. Ok, it sometimes made him spill his tea on his shirt too, but that wasn’t the point.

Today, unfortunately, was the day Draco Malfoy decided to use the blender. Harry never used it, because ‘only babies need their food in liquid form Malfoy’, but Draco watched Hermione use it once and it didn’t look too complicated, besides, the smoothie she had made with it was surprisingly tasty.

Draco prepared the fruit first; a banana, blueberries, strawberries… hmm that should do, right? He cut the fruit to manageable pieces, put it in the blender bowl, added some water, mounted the bowl onto the blender, plugged it in and–

Where was the lid?

Did one even need the lid? That surely wasn’t an essential part of the blender, right? Even cauldrons didn’t have lids and it’s not like smoothies exploded, he reasoned.

Draco apprehensively lifted his finger towards the ‘ON’ button. Here goes, he though when pressing firmly on it. A sudden roar came from the blender, then, before he could even react, he saw the contents surge upwards, upwards and _out_. Oh, _shit_. He saw a piece of banana flying towards his face when his eyes closed instinctively and he felt the sticky gooey pieces of fruit hit his face, his chest, his _hair._

The lid, apparently, _was_ a crucial part of the blender.

Draco’s eyes slowly opened, his nostrils flared and without even performing a cleaning charm on himself, he strode out of the kitchen and went to collect their owl sleeping quietly in his cage. Bloody fucking Potter and his bloody fucking kitchen shit, he will send him the worst fucking Howler he had ever received in his entire life and he will make damn sure he gets it right in the middle of the Auror offices.

                                                     ———–

Harry glanced at Bimbo, the kind but stupid looking owl that he and Draco had saved (from a pigeon attack) about a year ago. He was carrying an ominous red envelope that was already smoking at the edges. Uh-oh, Harry though. What had he done now? He swiftly took the envelope from Bimbo’s beak, rushed out of his cubicle and started sprinting towards the toilet. The whole department will not be privy to his embarrassment _again_.

Half way down the hall, the envelope exploded and the voice of an enraged and - what was even worse – extremely offended Draco Malfoy filled the Auror Department. ‘’YOU FUCKING WANKER! MY FACE IS COVERED IN STICKY GOO! IT’S IN MY FUCKING HAIR, POTTER. IN MY GORGEOUS FUCKING HAIR!’’ The voice roared and echoed around the level two. ‘’AND IT’S ALREADY BEGINNING TO DRY. IT’S CAKED TO MY FACE POTTER AND NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR SPITTING, EJACULATING _TOY_ WILL EVER BE FORGIVEN.’’

Harry stood in the middle of the hallway, eyes wide, cheeks flaming, with the whole department’s worth of eyes staring at him. ‘’It’s not –‘’ he mumbled. ‘’It’s not what you think it is,’’ he whispered to no use as the whole department was consumed by mounting laughter.


	4. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written for an anon who wanted cuddles and cuteness :)

**Morning**

 

Harry had never imagined he could have mornings like the one he was waking into now. Soft sunlight was flittering through the curtains, he was slowly emerging from a deep fulfilling sleep and he was breathing in the soft familiar scent of the man beside him.

There was just one thing that was wrong, he realized sleepily. He was cold.

The morning chill made him shiver slightly and he groaned. Draco had hoarded all the blankets on his side again. He extended his arm towards the body beside him, eyes still closed, and took hold of the blanket and pulled gently. ‘’Draco, ‘’ he mumbled ‘’ M’ cold.’’ The body didn’t budge.

‘’Draco,’’ he said loudly and pulled on the blankets harder. Draco muttered something that sounded awfully like _shut up Potter_ and rolled closer to Harry, still not relinquishing his hold on the blankets though. Apparently, Harry will have to wrestle with a sleeping Draco _again_ to get any warmth.

He cracked his eyes open, grabbed the blanket with both hands and yanked hard. This startled Draco into waking; his eyes flew open, he lifted his head in confusion, but before he could protest, Harry was already under the blankets pressing himself against Draco’s warm soft body. He sighed in contentment. 

Draco, however, flinched as cold feet found his warm legs and settled between them, ‘’Get your cold feet away from me,’’ he grumbled, while wrapping an arm around Harry’s torso and burying his head against the thick black hair. Harry snuggled closer into the warmth his eyes already fluttering shut again and whispered, ‘’S’your fault. You’re the blanket thief.’’

Before sleep overcame him again he could feel a faint chuckle shaking the body wrapped around him and a faint kiss pressed into his hair.

He had never imagined he could have mornings like this, because they were better than anyone could ever imagine.


	5. HEEEY, HEEY BABY! (HU, HA!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just...yeah. If you don't know the Hey Baby song by DJ Otzi you must listen to it asap.

I felt like you deserved to read something funny again as I’ve only been writing angst and porn lately. If you don’t know the [Hey Baby](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D9YFtlvDOVVE&t=NWU4OTNiMTA0YWRiZGE1NDMxYzMwODc2YTQ0OWVmZGY4ZTBmNjhhNyxJMmlrN2hWVA%3D%3D&b=t%3ADUfDTdi4gcyrqLfJ34kYwQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsynonym-for-life.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161653413091%2Fheeeey-heey-baby-hu-ha&m=1) song by DJ Otzi yet…I don’t even know what to say. It’s iconic. Go listen.

* * *

Draco was sleeping. Deeply. Blissfully. He was warm and content. Comfortable. 

Unfortunately, he was also very unwillingly waking up. His mind was slowly becoming more and more aware of the faint _tap_ followed by an even softer _plop_ that sounded against his window every now and then.

He opened his eyes. An even louder _tap_ sounded against the window accompanied by the sound of two muffled male voices coming from somewhere below the balcony. The owners of the voices obviously thought they were being quiet judging by the stage whisper quality of the sound. Whispers my ass, Draco huffed. They would wake a basilisk from its sleep.

He got out of the warm embrace of the bed and grumpily put on his nightgown. If it was that village drunkard with his equally inebriated friend again, he swore he’ll be calling the Aurors on them. Enough was enough.

He strode to the balcony door, opened it and stepped out into the warm summer night air.

‘’What in Merlin’s mighty melon sized balls is goin – ‘’

He stopped mid his own stage whispered yell as his gaze fell to a very tall, very red haired man who was only staying upright because he was supported by a very familiar black haired, brown skinned, bespectacled idiot. Said idiot was simultaneously holding the stumbling redhead in place and trying to pick up another stone from the ground. Presumably to throw it at the window again.

Draco sighed heavily as he leaned against the railing defeated. There will be no need to call the Aurors; two of them were already here and if the law was to be acknowledged they’d have to arrest themselves.

‘’What the hell are you two doing under the bloody balcony in the middle of the night?’’

Instead of getting a comprehensive response, Harry upon noticing him shook Ron wildly and pointed in Draco’s direction whispering ‘’Ohmigod, Ron. He’s here.’’ His eyes were wide and his outstretched hand unsteady. Draco opened his mouth to say something, but before he could get anything out, he heard Potter mutter ‘one two three’ under his breath waving his hand downwards on the count of three as he puffed hi chests out, opened his mouth and practically screamed ‘’HEEEEY, HEEY BABY!’’

‘’HU, HA!’’ Weasley helpfully bellowed. Apparently, he was taking over the role of a backup singer.

Draco was taking over the role of a martyr.

‘’I WANNA KNOOOOOOOW IF YOU’D BE MY GIRL.’’ There, Harry stopped abruptly looking confused. He turned to Ron, who was still singing ‘hu, ha’ under his breath and shouted ‘’NO!’’ directly at his face.

Weasley made a face ‘’Wha-?’’

Wide eyed and disappointed Harry responded ‘’Rooon! ‘S wrong, the song. He’s not a girl! Ohmigod, you think he’ll hate me now?’’ He looked on the verge of tears. ‘’I don’t want ‘im to be my girl Ron. I want ‘im to be my boyfriend.’’

Draco wondered exactly how many gallons of beer accompanied by stronger shots were needed to bring them both to this state.

‘’Potter!’’ he shouted. ‘’I’m right here and I can literally hear every word you say!’’ Harry’s eyes widened even more while Weasley continued looking completely unfazed. In fact, Draco was contemplating whether Weasley had even noticed him yet.

In that exact moment Ron’s mouth fell wide open and he looked like something really brilliant dawned on him. Draco feared for what was coming next.

‘’Haaaary! I fixed it! I fixed it!’’ he looked so happy Draco couldn’t even begrudge him what came next. Ron tilted his head upwards and started singing at the top of his voice ‘’HEEEEEY, HEEY BABY!’’

‘’HU, HA’’ Harry said with such vigour he swayed dangerously.

‘’I WANNA KNOOOOOOOW IF YOU’D BE MY _BOY_?!’’ He turned to Harry presumably in hopes of him recognizing his brilliance.

He wasn’t disappointed; Harry’s mouth fell open and he gasped in awe ‘’Ohhhh! Ronnn! You fixed it!’’ They then looked at each other knowingly and turned to face Draco in unison.

Uh, oh.

‘’HEEEEY, HEEY BABY!’’

‘’HU!

‘’HA!’’

‘’I WANNA KNOOOOOOOOOOW IF YOU’D BE MY BOOOOY?!’’

Then they suddenly stopped. Apparently the song either ended there or they didn’t know the rest of the lyrics.

Or neither of the above, Draco realized as he noticed Harry looking up at him full of endearing hope smiling expectantly and quite clearly awaiting an answer. Oh dear Merlin, he was _wooing_ him.

HEEEY, HEEY BABY! (HU, HA!)

 

Draco’s head dropped onto his forearms resting on the railing. There was some scuffling below him and he heard Potter demand quietly _‘give ‘em to me’_. He raised his head and behold: In his hands, Potter was clutching what had to be the ugliest most unfortunately rumpled bouquet Draco had ever seen in his life. In fact, it looked very much like lettuce with a few giant roses included in the mess.  

Draco narrowed his eyes. Those roses looked suspiciously familiar.

‘’Harry…’’ he said with wariness in his voice, ‘’where are those roses from?’’

A dark hand carefully pointed in the direction of the neighbour garden. Draco’s regard followed the line of the pointing finger towards the exact rosebush he most feared the flowers came from. The bush was all bent and rumpled. It looked exactly as if two grown men had just fallen into it. Draco closed his eyes and counted to ten.

‘’Harry,’’ he said as calmly as possible, ‘’you do realise those are Mrs Prickletosh’s roses?’’ there was a definite strain in his voice. ‘’You know, the lady who talks to her rose bushes as if they were her only love in the world and has actually hexed _children_ for _smelling_ them.’’

Harry’s eyes went wide with fear and he looked around wildly while Weasley stilled completely as if smelling trouble.

Potter looked up at him and with a tremor in his voice softly said ‘’Oh shit. Your neighbour is Mrs Prickletosh too?’’

‘’Bloody hell!’’ Draco shouted throwing his arms in the air not even caring who heard anymore. ‘’POTTER! YOU FUCKING LIVE HERE!’’ Harry’s jaw dropped open as Draco continued ‘’We’ve been together for _years_ , you tit.’’

Harry just stood there for a second, jaw open and tears of wonder in his eyes, then he grabbed an extremely confused Ron around his midriff, lay his head on his chest and proceeded to sob into it. ‘’Ohmigod, Ron. He already _is_ my boyfriend. He already _loves_ me.’’

Draco rubbed at his temples tiredly, but he couldn’t deny that his heart skipped a beat at Harry’s mention of love. Love him he did. Stupidly, unexpectedly, preposterously and – unconditionally.

Harry was still sobbing into Ron’s chest as Weasley awkwardly patted his back muttering something like _‘why you crying ‘bout love, mate’._

Draco ‘s lips cured up into a warm smile.

‘’For Merlin’s sake, get your two sorry asses inside, you tossers.’’


	6. Bimbo the Owlet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for @serpensthesia's prompt (''You're jealous, aren't you?'') on Tumblr.

**Bimbo the Owlet**

 

Draco sat in the armchair holding a little ball of puff in his lap. He was stroking its feathers gently while Harry was reading a book on the couch. Well, mostly pretending to read it; judging by little huffs of displeasure accompanied by covert glares in his direction, Draco was certain Harry had been on the same page for at least half an hour.

Ignoring the annoyed fidgeting that was coming from the couch he continued petting Bimbo, their newly acquired baby owl. They rescued him a couple of days ago, when Harry found him in a park where he’d fallen from a tree. His mother had given up on him after being unable to get him back into her nest. Harry had sent Draco an emergency Patronus urging him to come to the park immediately.

Draco will forever blame him for the near heart attack he received upon seeing the familiar stag glowing red. Coming to think of it, having been too preoccupied taking care of the owlet, they haven’t yet had a fight about that. He will definitely have to impress the importance of the word ‘emergency’ on Harry.

Not now, however. Draco wouldn’t be able to muster up even a sliver of anger, what with big black eyes staring at him in wonder falling closed in contentment every time his finger came down to stroke behind the ears. If Bimbo was a cat, Draco was sure he’d be purring loudly, he contemplated as he felt his mouth stretch in a silly warm smile.

Ugh, the older he got the sappier he was.

A derisive grunt disguised as a sigh came from the direction of the couch. Draco lifted his head to see Harry positively seething; his lips squeezed tight, forehead scowling, eyes narrowed at the book before him.

Draco smirked. ‘’You’re jealous, aren’t you?’’

Harry’s eyes fleetingly fell onto the owlet in his lap. ‘’Am not.’’

‘’I suppose the book must be quite offensive then.’’ Draco’s smirk grew wider.

‘’Might be.’’ Harry’s lips pursed as his hand carelessly turned the page.

Oh, Draco was enjoying this. ‘’You’re just jealous because Bimbo loves me more.’’

The book was violently slammed shut as Harry sat up. He pointed at Draco accusingly. ‘’That is not fair! I saved him!’’ he crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. ‘’He should love me more.’’

Bimbo’s innocent eyes turned bigger and he turned his head towards Harry’s voice. He really did look quite dumb with those large eyes placed much too close together blinking slowly as if they understood absolutely nothing.

‘’You’re frightening Bimbo with your screeching .’’

‘’Pff. Bimbo. That he is. Just as stupid as he looks.’’ Harry leaned back against the couch offended. ‘’At least you have something in common with him,’’ he continued bitingly.

Draco outright snorted. This was ridiculous. Harry was getting worked up because Bimbo liked being petted by him more. ‘’You’re such a baby, Potter.’’

He got up from the armchair, Bimbo in his arms, and plopped himself down next to Harry. He placed the owlet in Potter’s lap and gently said ‘’He only likes me more because I’ve been feeding him these past few days. That’s all. He’ll like you just the same once you start petting him and showing him some love.’’

Harry carefully uncrossed his arms and extended his hand towards Bimbo’s little grey head. As soon as he touched him, the baby owl turned his head into Harry’s palm and chirped happily. The sappy grin that flashed across Harry’s face did strange things to Draco’s heart.

Harry turned decisively towards him. ‘’From now on I’m feeding him.’’

‘’Absolutely not. I can’t have him love you more that he loves me.’’

‘’Fine. We’ll switch.’’

‘’Fine.’’

Harry’s head bent towards their new fluffy pet and Draco could hear him whisper softly ‘’From now on, I’ll be your momma too.’’

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yaaay comments!


End file.
